


From Hogwarts to Panem

by TheNile



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 13,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNile/pseuds/TheNile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hogwarts student Jessica Crawley accidently apparates to Panem, District 7, where she is reaped in the 34th Annual Hunger Games...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Apparating

I was supposed to be apparating, but I felt like I was being ripped apart. Every particle in my body seemed to be jolting around, crashing together. And with every crash, a memory came to me.  
Crash. It is raining, and the roof is leaking. I'm drinking a disgusting liquid, supposed to be tea. A cold wind blows through the wall, there doesn't seem to have any chance stopping it.  
Crash. Trees everywhere the eye can see. The sun is shining, and dad is showing me how to use an axe. To cut lumber. Except, though I know it is my dad, I also know it isn't. Why would my dad, the second secretary for the Minister of Magic, take me to the woods and teach me to cut lumber with my hands?  
Crash. I'm sitting under a great elm, my favourite tree. The sun is rising so slow, but yet far too fast. It's my first reaping. It's the first year, I'm in, but I'm already in there three times.  
Crash. Crash. Crash. My head flooded with the memories of a whole life. My life.  
The pain was excruciating, both physical and mental, and I was screaming and screaming and screaming and....  
And suddenly it was over.  
Confused I opened my eyes. I had never been here before in my life, but I still knew it to be my home. I was in a bed, the sheets scratching. And... And it was reaping-day. I didn't want to get out, I didn't want to face the terror in everybody's faces.  
“Jess?” mum's soft voice called. No, I said to my self. She isn't my mum! “You have to get up. I've let you stay there far too long already.” Hesitatingly, I got out and stood on the floor.  
“Can you get those clothes off. Immediately!” Her face was pale white, looking at my Hogwarts ropes. Before I could as much as think of starting to undress myself, she was ripping it off my body, replacing it with an old blue dress of her own. It might've been pretty once, but that couldn't have been in this decade. Or the previous. 

I couldn't escape the fact, that I should be terrified. 18. That was how many times my name was in that bowl, and I knew, I didn't want to get reaped into these Hunger Games, I'd never heard of before, but watched throughout my whole life.  
I was sitting under an elm tree. This was one of my favourite places in District 7, where I lived. Though I didn't.  
“My name is Jessica Crawley,” I whispered. “I live in St Ives, Cornwall. I was sorted into Ravenclaw when I was eleven, and I'm at my seventh and last year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Panem is nothing but an illusion.”With closed eyes and crossed fingers I repeated this, again and again, till it became the truth, the only truth.  
“You never told me about Ravenclaw,” a voice said, and I jolted back and hit my head against the tree.  
“Ouch,” I groaned. “What the hell are you doing here?”  
“Oh, sorry, Crawley. I hadn't realized this was your private spot,” Marie said sarcastically.  
“I just... Wasn't expecting company, that's all.”  
“I'm worried about you,” she admitted.  
“Why?”  
“You know why. You're in there like hundred times! You could be drawn.” I was clutching my wand in my hands, knowing I could finish it all easily if I wanted to.  
“I'm not. Worried, I mean. Why should I be? I don't believe in any of this anyway,” I whispered.  
“Yeah, I know what you think. That we're all just a trick you mind played you, but it's time to wake up, Jess! This is reality, that Howart thing isn't!”  
“Hogwarts.”  
“I don't care, and neither should you.”  
“You and your reality! If this is the real world, then tell me why I can do this,” I shouted, pointing my wand at her and without a word from me, water splattered out on her. “And how I can do this.” Still silent, I stroke her with the tip of my wand, and the water evaporated, leaving her cloth dry and warm.  
“I don't know,” she said. “But I do know, that even if that school of yours exists, you can't escape from this place. You have to put it behind you, Jess. And... I don't want to find out, what they do to crazy people!” She turned away from me and walked back to town. I couldn't think of even one word, that could make her stay.


	2. Goodbye

I stood besides a very silent Marie, watching the Justice Building of District 7. My wand was tight strongly to my right thigh. I couldn't get to it easily there, but at least I had it with me.   
On the podium stood Evanis, the uncaring guy from Capitol, who came to 7 every year to pull scraps out of the bowl, say two kids' name in an indifferent voice and then escort them to town. His hand shot into the first bowl.  
“Kim Railow,” he said. He scowled annoyed at the trembling boy (not yet fourteen, judging from his appearance), who slowly walked to the podium. Again, he let his hand down and took up another paper, this time from the girls' bowl. Suddenly, Marie grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard, I could've screamed.   
“Jessica Crawley,” he said as indifferent as ever.   
Wait. No. What? I must've heard wrongly. But why were everyone looking at me, then? Marie hugged me quickly before giving me a little push against the podium. I walked up there in a haze.

They locked me in a room in the Justice Building. I thought about trying to apparate out of here, but after a while, the door opened, and my parents stumbled into the room, embracing me before I could as much as open my mouth to say what I wanted to, no, wanted was too weak a word, what I needed to say.  
“Jessica,” my dad began. No. He wasn't my dad. And she wasn't my mum. “Do you remember what I taught you in the woods, about fires?”  
“Yes, but..”  
“Remember to eat properly while you are in Capitol. You won't know what you'll get afterwards, sweetheart,” my mum said and kissed my front head, so I could feel her tears on my face.   
“I will, but please..”  
“Don't let them kill you. Do you hear me? Promise me you'll come back to us!”  
“But I..”  
“No. Not but, just do it. It's kill or be killed. Kill the others and come back home. You can do this. My daughter can do this!”  
“STOP IT!” I yelled. “Get off me! DO'NT TOUCH ME!” I jolted backwards, and pounded in to the wall behind me. “I am not your daughter. This is not my home. I have no idea whatsoever about how I ended up in this wicked place, and all I want to do is get home. I hate you. So will you please tell me, who you are, and what memory charms you used on me, and, above all, how the hell I'm going to get out of here?!” They looked at each other, obviously sharing the same thought.   
“Honey?” He tried to lay a hand on my shoulder, but I pulled away from him. “We've been around this. We are your parents. This is where you belong. We don't understand. Why are you doing this to us?”   
“STOP IT!” Something I hadn't felt since before I started at Hogwarts when I was eleven, fought it's way out of me, and the windows shattered to pieces as I unwillingly conjured a magical explosion.  
Peacekeepers flooded the room within a second and hived me out of there and into another room before I even got an extra look at the man and the woman, who thought they were my parents. I'm not your daughter, I said to them. I hate you. No matter how unreal they were, I still remembered him cuddling me when I'd fallen down the stairs as a five-year-old and hit my knee, and her sneaking out in the night with me, showing me the stars and telling me their names. This was their reality, they had done this with me, and I had thanked them by declaring my hatred and leaving them, well knowing that I most likely would be dead before we got another opportunity to meet.


	3. A Train and a Mentor

The peacekeepers were swarming around likes ant in an anthill. They couldn't figure out, how the explosion didn't hurt anything but the windows and ended up evacuating the building and delaying the train to the Capitol to seek for a potential threat. They couldn't have their tributes being assassinated before they'd been shown all the glory of their city, now could they?  
The Railow-guy and I (and everybody remotely important from the building) were temporarily moved to a nearby “secured house” as they called it. Apparently, secured meant that everything except the furniture was either made of iron or covered with iron bars, which gave me a strong impression of a muggle prison. Well, apart from the fact, that this place had an installed cupboard filled with whiskey, which the mayor quickly dived in to.  
More than once, I could feel Kim look at me as if he wanted to say something, but I ignored him as well as I could. 

After three hours, they decided that whatever threat, there had been, it was long gone, and then it suddenly got important, that we were several hours behind schedule, and we were dragged to the train hastily. Just as the door closed behind us, the trains started moving, and soon we were gliding through the country, almost flying, so everything outside the window became an odd flicker.  
“Jessica?” Evanis said (I could actually sense a very slight undertone of concern in his voice). “You're pale. Are you all right?”  
“It's just motion sickness,” I cut him off before realizing what I'd said. “I mean, that's what I guess it is. I heard about it once, in school.” He gave me a suspicious glance, but then shook his head and continued guiding us through the train. How could I be so stupid? Yeah, I got motion sick back in England, but here I'd never been inside a driving vessel.

I sat on my bed, trying to figure out, what was best. Looking out the window, or not looking out the window. Not looking out the window, I could feel the train rocking beneath me, which made me dizzy like hell. But looking out the window showed me, that we were moving much faster, than what the train's movement told me, and that made my whole world spin around.  
“There's dinner in the eating wagon,” a voice declared from the hall, and I forced myself to rise. Walking didn't make it better in any way, but at least I had that to concentrate on.  
I had to throw up. I stopped up in the middle of the hall, trying to keep it in. Well, I'd succeeded for almost ten minutes, when the door to the eating wagon opened, and I looked up immediately. Which I shouldn't have. Turning around so I wouldn't puke on whoever had stepped out of the door, my stomach emptied itself completely.  
“Blimey,” I whispered, hoarse.  
“Pardon me?” I turned around slowly to look at the woman talking to me.  
“Oh, I'm sorry, I..”  
“Don't apologise. Go in there and sit down,” she commanded, and I obeyed. An Avox came to help me, but she pushed him away from me, making him clean the floor.  
“You don't need the wall. The floor will be adequate.” I starred at her in disbelief.  
“Let go of the wall!” she snapped at me. Confused, I did what she said, zigzagged through the door and sat on the first the best chair with a groan, holding my aching head between my hands.  
“Sit up straight, girl, you're not dying!”  
“Who are you?” I asked, keeping my head down.  
“I'm Coleene, your mentor. And right now, you'll get your head up, or you'll eat standing.”  
“Ha! You seriously think, I'm going to eat anything while on this thing?”  
“Okay then, straight to it. Do what I say or die. That's the options.” I looked up at her, suddenly not so angry.  
“You seriously think, I have a chance to live?” I whispered. She didn't answer.


	4. A Tree in a Parade

I've never been so relieved, as when I got off that train. In the same moment, my feet touched the ground, I was led into a car (that thankfully had to drive really slow because of the crowd) and straight to what from now on would be my prep team. Even though, the first thing, they said to me, was “take off you cloth”, I was considerably more comfortable here than in the train. I'd been to a beauty saloon before, and what was the difference anyway?  
“Your legs!” one of them said, a man, I think. “They're shaved!”   
“Yeah, they are. Does it matter?”   
“No, it doesn't,” he said, but the rest of the time, they had me, they were smiling like children on Christmas eve, which made even the pain when they plucked my eyebrows funny.   
They had to leave me at some point to make room for the stylist. And that basically meant, that they left me completely naked on a stool in front of a mirror. Luckily it was a woman who came in the door, 'cause I might've freaked out if it was a man. No matter how lethal this was, I was not going to sit naked while some random guy checked me out. No. Way.  
“Not bad,” the woman said while giving me a lift glance. “Not bad at all. I'm Tophia, by the way.”  
“Not bad, huh? Well, if you've reached your conclusion, would you mind giving me that robe, you're bringing? Here's freezing!” I answered her ironically. She handed it to me with a smile, and I got so busy putting it on, that I didn't realized I was putting it on backwards, till I stood blushing with the back of the robe covering everything from my chest to my knees and the opening of it revealing my bottom to the wall. She laughed at me while I turned it around, which creepily reminded me of my grandma. Grandma. I sighed. Suddenly, there was nothing I wanted more than to sit in my granny's living-room and drink hot coco while she said practising her non-magical knitting, which she was so proud of. I could feel the sob working it's way up through my throat, and before I could hide it, Tophia held me in her arms and patted my hair softly.   
“You carry tears in your heart, youngling. Cry.” And I did. 

The parade was an awful experience, I wish I could've lived without. Kim and I were dressed as trees, but to make it more believable, they had made two artificial trees with leaves and everything, that fitted us. There was a hole for our brown-painted faces, but none for our arms and legs, which meant they actually had to carry us into the wagon. In the moment, the wagon moved forward, I tilted off it, and they had to delay it all a few seconds to get me up in it again, which all happened to the sound of the other tributes laughing heartedly at me. The only good thing was, that they couldn't see my high-red face because of the paint.   
Then we finally drove in to show ourselves to the crowd, which was even more humiliating than falling in front of the other tributes. As soon as they showed us on the big screen, the crowd went wild with laughter. The president started talking, but I wasn't really listening. But when he said “And may the odds be ever in your favour”, I fell again, and the laughter increased, which for the second time here made me do magic without wanting to. At least, this time I only made the plastic tree blossom, which I guess their technology could've done too. But I still had to explain to those, who knew the suit couldn't blossom. Great. At least I wasn't breaking the Degree for Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. Or, on the other hand, they'd might be able to follow the Trace here and bring me home. I groaned. Never thought I'd be unhappy about being seventeen.

When the parade was finally over, we were shoved into a lift and taken to fifth floor. Kim's eyes shined like stars, when he saw the place filled with “design” furniture, and he ignored all rules as he jumped straight up in the couch, that almost swallowed him with all the pillows. But, to be quite honest, it did seem a little overkill. I mean, bright yellow chairs, lime green walls, colour-changing floors. Seriously? I missed the Great Hall at Hogwarts, sitting benched between friends, and the dormitories, high up in one of the towers, giving a great view to the moon and the lake. Here, all I could see was high buildings and strangely coloured people wandering around in a far too clean street. At least the bed was exactly as soft as it should be. The last thing I thought before sleeping was, that the costume and the furnitures wasn't the only things artificial here.


	5. A Knife at Training

I woke up slowly, yawned and stretched with content.  
“Jane, are you up?” I asked without opening my eyes. No answer. Wasn't it a bit silent? People should be stumbling tiredly around the dormitory, mumbling about the cruelty of school mornings while brushing their teeth, but there was only the sound of my breath. Did they leave without me?  
“Bloody hell!” I yelled and jumped out of bed and paused as suddenly as I had jumped. I need to get home, my only thought was. Now!  
I grabbed tightly around my wand, clutched my teeth together and turned around on the spot, thinking of Hogsmeade. The next thing I knew, I crashed hardly into the room wall, no more than 20 feet away from the bed.  
“Jessica!” Coleene said from outside. “What are you doing in there?”  
“I fell. Sorry!” I shouted.  
“Get out here, and don't break anything,” she groaned at me and her pace disappeared into the dining room. I looked at my wand in despair. Why didn't it work? At that moment it appeared to me, that if I couldn't apparate out of here, there was nothing I could do but participate in their games. Nothing.

I dressed quickly, trying not to dwell on what I'd just realized. At least there was a delicious scent of egg and bacon, which suited my roaring stomach. I hadn't eaten anything since I last had breakfast at Hogwarts. When was that? The day before yesterday? It felt like more, though I'd guess I'd be more starving if it was. I half-ran out of my room and very soon sat besides a tired Evanis, who looked grumpily at me. Instead of embarrassing myself by saying something awkward, I just sat down and started eating.  
“As I said earlier, while the young lady was sleeping,” said Evanis sarcastically. “You two are training with the other tributes today. This is in twenty minutes, so you better eat fast.”  
“Eat fast? It's not like it takes me a decade to eat..”  
“No, but you have to talk privately with Coleene before going down there.”  
“Why?”  
“Don't you know anything?” he snarled at me. “Go down there without a strategy, and you're doomed! Now eat up.” I ate up and unwillingly left the table to follow Coleene, strangely enough back into my room, where she sat on the floor and I in front of her.  
“We have two opportunities,” she said, going straight to it. “One; you make everyone think you're weak – which you are, so that shouldn't be that hard – and you won't be so much of a target. Two; we make everyone think you're strong to get sponsors. The first is more likely than the second, but it can also get you killed. What do you say?” Should I tell her? I thought. No. She'll find out soon enough.  
“Let's go for the first one.”  
“You do realize, that no one sponsors the loser to be?”  
“Trust me on this one. I won't need sponsors,” I said with a grim voice.

The training suit didn't have a skirt where I could hide my wand, so I tied it to my back, hiding it between my scapulars. It was pretty uncomfortable, but I wasn't leaving my only chance for survival anywhere.  
I used a lot of time learning to lit a fire. It didn't go so well, but that was mostly because, I also observed the others.  
The guy from 2, Veile, seemed particularly dangerous. He handled the sword like a natural extension of his arm, and he cut the practice doll to pieces with ease.  
But the other careers was no joke either. Yilo from 1 threw a spear so hard, that it went through the middle of the target and pierced the wall with a loud “clang”. Opal, also from 1, somehow succeeded poisoning one of the trainers and stood watching him throw up with a heartedly smile, that no one would've guessed fake.  
“What are you looking at?” a voice said from behind me, and I jolted away from it, my heart skipping a beat.  
“Sorry, I-I-I didn't hear you,” I answered the girl from 2, Dya.  
“You see this one?” she said and held a knife in front of my eyes. “Before you know of it, it might be slipping trough your artery.” I could feel the blood leaving my face in an instant. “Stop glaring,” she hissed and left.


	6. On Heels

Coleene had told me about the private session. All I had to do was to stand in there in front of the gamemakers and get the lowest score possible. But why did I feel so anxious? It was just like an exam! And I'd been to plenty of them without problems. Actually, I'd never received less than an O. I paused. Maybe that was the problem! Doing bad on purpose was against my entire being. I sighed and entered the room.  
“You can start, Jessica.” A neutral voice said. I looked around and my eyes fixed on a sword. That couldn't get worse, I thought with a smug smile and headed towards it. The sword was heavy and uncontrollable and the grip was too big for my hand. Still, I swung it against the training doll. The next second, I jumped backwards as I dropped it on my foot. There was a dispersed giggling, as I left the sword and grabbed a bow. This couldn't be too hard. Carefully, I took an arrow and placed it on the string. It flew an entire feet. I was a bit proud, but this time I heard a genuine laughter from the gamemakers. This was starting to tick me off.  
“We don't need to see any more. You can go,” the head gamemaker said. I stomped towards the door, my head red with humiliation and anger. A cough sounded behind me, and I turned.  
“It's the other door,” a gamemaker giggled and pointed. I got a strong urge to run over and hit him, but what I actually did was much worse. I smiled, said “thanks”, turned around on the spot, apparated to the other end of the room and walked out. 

Coleene was waiting for me in the apartment.   
“So?”  
“So what?”  
“Are they convinced?” I grimaced.  
“I'm not sure.”  
“Not sure? What did you do?!” She didn't even look worried. “Throw up at them?”  
“Cut it out!” I said. “When will they publish the score?” She sighed and led me to the dinner room, where lunch waited.

We had been sitting watching Capitol TV for at least twenty minutes before it started. My eyes were glued to the screen as they started by giving Yilo 11. We clapped a little at Kim's 7, and finally my face appeared with the number 10. Silence fell around me.   
“It's settled, then,” Coleene said with a cold voice. “You're going to die.” She left without another word.

The next morning she woke me up early.  
“Time to learn to walk!” she said triumphantly, not looking me in the eyes.  
“What?” She answered by placing a pair of stilettos in front of my face. I sat up groggily, put on the shoes, walked to the other end of the room and back again without any problems, took them off and went back to bed again. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor wrapped in my bed blankets.  
“You seriously thought I'd let you go that easy?”   
“No, that would depend on you being capable of mercy,” I groaned tiredly. “Never thought that of you.”  
“I'll be back in twenty. You better be ready by then, or I'll let you practise these in the hall down there in that,” she said and pointed at my T-shirt and trousers.   
“As if I care,” I mumbled, but when she came back, I was dressed and ready for whatever torture, she was planning to inflict on me.   
“You haven't told me, why we are doing this?” I said while walking back and forth wearing an awful long, pink dress and matching high heels.   
“Because of the interview of course,” she answered.  
“The interview?!” I hissed and stumbled. “What am I going to do?”  
“Just answer the guy. It can't be that hard, now can it?”  
“Well, I guess not...”  
“By the way, where did you learn to walk around in high heels?”  
“They're just shoes,” I answered defiantly.


	7. A Toe out of Line

I was dragged out of bed early by my prep team, but they didn't mind me sleeping in front of the mirror instead. When they woke me up, my face had changed to a smooth, shiny surface, everything surrounding my eyes, which looked bluer than ever before. I couldn't help gazing at myself, and Tophia laughed at me, when she entered.   
“Wait till you see the dress,” she said, and I turned around. I watched her amazed as she started pulling something out of the bag in her hands. Gaping my mandible off, I reached for the blue and silver wonder to feel the velvet. It was darker than the sea but brighter than the night sky. Some places the fabric opened up to a silver petticoat. She helped me get it on and left me glaring at myself while she fetched the shoes, she had forgotten somewhere.   
I'd never in my life felt so beautiful. 

Deliberately forgetting all about the games, I sat behind the stage watching the other tributes interview, anxiously waiting for my turn. I succeeded convincing myself, that this was nothing but an exam. Maybe a nasty one, but it was all it was.   
Finally it was my turn, and I walked in there with the biggest, most stunning smile, I could produce, and when it worked on the crowd, I smiled even more. The interviewer showed me to the chair, beaming back at me.   
“Well, someone's in a good mood today, huh?”  
“I'm very definitely in a good mood. Have you seen this dress? It's gorgeous!”   
“Not as gorgeous as the one in the dress, I reckon,” he answered, which made giggle heartedly.  
“I can tell you're joking, but I will let it pass.” He laughed a little, but then continued.  
“Without joking at all, I can tell you we were all very surprised about your good score. How did you manage a 10?” he asked curiously.   
“I honestly don't know,” I said. “I dropped a sword on my foot in there. One of my toes is still blue. Want to see?” I quickly launched a wand-less spell at my foot as he nodded.  
“Here it is,” I announced loudly when I'd gotten the shoe off and swung my foot up in the air. Unfortunately, wand-less spells were almost uncontrollable, and the toe was almost black.  
“That looks nasty,” he said. “And you've just walked around on that since yesterday?”  
“It looks worse than it is,” I claimed and put the shoe on again.   
“Are you scared about tomorrow?” I flinched.  
“I'm actually trying not to think about it.” In the same moment, a buzzer sounded, and I was quickly led of the stage to make room for Kim.   
“I think the gamemakers are a little off, giving her 10,” I heard Dya whisper as I walked back to my chair.  
“She'll be an easy one,” Yilo answered.   
I smiled, smug that my plan worked. 

“You are an idiot, Jessica,” Coleene barked at me as soon as we got back into the apartment. “Tell me, what did you think? Huh?”  
“I made the other tributes forget my score! Aren't you supposed to be happy about it? It's what you wanted!” I yelled at her.   
“Forget about the other tributes, you just made your situation a whole lot worse by making a fool of the gamemakers!”  
“I'm not fighting the gamemakers in there!”  
“No, you aren't. But they control everything! They can make the ground disappear under your feet and you'll be dead before noticing. And it is these guys, you've just insulted. Still content?” My eyes widened.   
“Thank you for telling me before I screwed up,” I whispered, my voice cold as ice. Before she could answer, I left the room.


	8. Magic in the Morning

I got up before the sun. It was early, and I could've slept a few hours more and be well rested for today, but I had to try again.   
To start with, I apparated round the room, assuring that my accuracy was as good as ever. I smiled when I landed exactly on the tooth paste spot I'd made on the floor while brushing my teeth ten minutes earlier. I breathed in deeply before thinking of my room back in St. Ives. For a moment, the ripping feeling from when I got here returned, and I smiled relieved. I'm going home now, I thought, but suddenly his face appeared in my head. It slipped away, everything, and as only his face remained, I turned up in front of my window in Capitol.  
Wait a sec.. I thought, as I fell towards the street, too in mind to think of screaming. Desperately, I turned around in the air, and spinning faster and faster downwards, I hit my bed with a slight screech.   
“No more apparating,” I told my self reluctantly, thinking of home. Thinking of him. 

I must've fallen asleep again, 'cause I woke up with Coleene sitting besides me on the bed.   
“I guessed I should've talked tactics with you anyway,” she said, staring at a white spot on the floor, the tooth paste spot. “About the interview, I mean.”  
“Yeah, guess so.” We were both silent for a while, then she looked me straight in the eyes.  
“I don't know what you did in there to get that 10, but whatever you did, you're good. Give them hell from the very beginning, and the gamemakers might forgive you.”  
“What if I don't?”  
“Just...” She left the room. 

Walking to the hovercraft-thing, that should bring us to the arena, I had this strange feeling, that all the guards were starring at me, when I didn't look. Then it occurred to me. Of course. They must have the streets watched. They saw me this morning. But they didn't do anything, so I chose to forget it for now. If they wanted to kill me, they could could do so easily. I'd better worry about what I had a chance of preventing, like getting killed by anyone else. I sighed. There was nothing but death in sight, wherever I looked.  
I didn't get nauseous over the flight, but I did feel a little sick about the needle they used to put some weird electric device in my arm. I'd heard about the most, my mum had a job in the muggle world, so I knew about cameras, doorbells, electric light and even alarms that prevented thievery, but I'd never heard of them putting things into peoples arms, that could track them down like the Ministry could trace under-aged magicians. Maybe they had learned some kind of magic, I thought amazed, poking the spot on my arm, which made some sort of lamp blink in there. I giggled shortly, and glares pierced my body from all sides. I lowered my arms.   
As soon as we landed, all the tributes were led in different directions. I was led to an underground room, where Tophia waited for me with a hug and a suit.  
“Are you all right, child?” she asked, worried.  
“I'll be fine. I am fine. What is that?” I pointed at the cloth in the hands, and she held it up for me to see. It was very simple, really. A brown t-shirt, a dust-grey, solid, warm jacket with matching pants and some brown boots, probably designed for wanderers.  
“Well, let's get it on!” she exclaimed, but I shushed her.  
I need you help, I mouthed with my bag to the camera. Without turning even a bit, I pulled my wand out of my sleeve, where I'd hid it this morning. Her eyes grew big, but she was silent.  
I need this with me. She watched my mouth carefully, and I moved it slowly. Please. She hugged me once again, and I sighed relieved as my wand slipped down an inner pocket in the jacket. The sound of a zipper was clear, and she let go.   
“Now, stop crying my friend,” she said loudly. “You have to be up there in two minutes!” I faked a couple of sobs and dried away unshod tears while I dragged the cloth on. She tugged me into some kind of glass tube.  
“Take care,” she said before I was carried up into the sunshine.


	9. The 34th Hunger Games

The baking sun stood high on the cloudless sky and coloured my world blinding white for a little while. When I got my sight back, I could feel my jaw slipping towards my stomach.  
The arena was a fearsome sight to behold. We were standing in a city square, and there were streets in every corner around us, leading in between houses of maximum two floors. But this city had been abandoned for years and years. The buildings were falling apart, their bricks smouldered. Little tile islands on the dusty grey earth bore witness of some once glorious streets.  
But none of this was really important at the moment. Every single eye in the whole nation was staring at us now, and we were staring at the cornucopia in front of us, listening to the count down.  
“15.... 14.... 13....”  
It was a broken end of a huge, out-dried pipe, filled with everything from weapons to delicious Capitol food.  
“9.... 8.... 7....”  
I didn't care about the small packages, dry breads, sleeping bags and whatever else was in between. I stood ready.  
“4.... 3.... 2.... 1!” A buzzing sounded, and everyone started running, but not I. I turned around on the spot and apparated to the cornucopia before anyone else was even half way there.  
Give them hell from the very beginning, I could hear Coleene say in the back of my head, as I drew my wand and with the most dramatic movement, I could make without ruining the spell, I send the tributes running towards me back through the air in an explosion of dust, that made the atmosphere foggy and unbreathable. Another swish with my wand, and the air around me was clear.  
Now, I thought smug, I had the whole cornucopia to myself in a couple of minutes, and I started searching for food. Fastly I found two backpacks filled with food and a knife, a sleeping bag and even a tent. Packing everything together as I best could, I turned to run away, but I wasn't alone anymore. It was the guy from three who came toward me, and I dropped my acquirements to head him with raised wand.  
“Ha!” he exclaimed. “A stick? You want me to be afraid of a stick? I must laugh!” But he most certainly didn't. With cold eyes he rose his arm as if he wanted to throw the knife, he had there.  
“Expelliarmus,” I whispered, and the knife flew out of his grip. His eyes showed a short glimpse of startle, but it was gone so quickly, that I almost doubted it had ever been there, and he continued against me.  
“I warn you!” I said. “You saw what I can do with this!” This time he laughed loudly, my words were as empty as they sounded.  
“You're no killer.” I swallowed as I realized he was right. I didn't have to kill him directly. Anything I could do to prevent him from killing me would mean his death. But I had no choice, I concluded.  
“Petrificus totalus,” muttered, and his body got limb imediately.  
Running away, I could hear the screams of the blood bath behind me, and someone's grin together with the sound of human flesh getting cut and bones breaking as they found the lame body, I'd left behind. 

I'd never been exercising, which showed it's effect soon enough, as I had to slow down my pace to a walk closer to the Cornucopia, than I wanted to. But yet again, they were far too busy conquering the supplies than tracking me down right now.  
After about an hour of walking, I was still surrounded by houses. I considered going into one, but somehow they seemed suspiciously dark and quiet, so instead I wandered on in the heat, with sweat running down my spine and covering my front head, till the sound of a canon ranged through the streets. I was about to panic, when I realized it meant the blood bath was over. Allowing myself a break, I stood silent while I counted. It stopped at eleven. I continued forward. 

Night fell and even then there seemed no end to the gloomy buildings. I tip toed into a backyard,, and when nothing happened, I decided to stay. After I'd put up the tent, I started walking around my camping spot.  
“Salvio hexia,” I chanted. “Protego totalum. Repello mugletum. Muffliato. Cave inimicum.” Relieved by the safety of the spells, I sad down eating with comfort.


	10. Traps in the Night

I reluctantly looked up as the national anthem started playing. This means faces, I thought and swallowed a sob. The guy I'd killed was the first face to appear in the sky, and I felt sick about myself. Both from 6 and 7 were gone, and after the last of their faces had faded away, Kim looked at me from above, and I felt like crying. The girl from 8, the girl from 9, both from 10 and 12 were dead as well. I crawled to the edge of my camp and emptied my stomach in the grass. 

“See, there's an apple tree in this garden!” a male voice cried out. I sat up groggily, trying to figure out how I'd fallen asleep yesterday. My eyes were swollen from weeping, and I felt weak.  
“They look good,” another voice, this time female, said. I started hearing footsteps and crawled out of the tent, as silent as possible though they wouldn't have heard me if I'd lit fireworks while jumping around crying out so loud I could “HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, HOGGY-WARTY HOGWARTS, TEACH US SOMETHING PLEASE”. It could've been fun, but in Recommended Camp Protection-Charms by Hermione Granger, it had specifically warned against such experiments if in danger, so I purposely kept my mouth shut.  
I had to rub my eyes to see anything as the sun blinded me, but when the sun disappeared behind a cloud, the five career tributes were less than ten feet away and I screeched in startle and stumbled back into the tent, that tilted over. Cursing myself I pulled back, but the damage was done. Opal, the girl from 1, gulped and pointed at a spot to my left.  
“I saw a hand,” she said, her voice shivering. “Just for a moment, and then it disappeared again.”  
“A hand? Come on now, Opal!” Yilo from her own district laughed loudly, but Dya besides him frowned at Opal's words.  
“Did you see what that girl from 7 did at the cornucopia? Maybe she's concealed somewhere, but let her hand slip.” She pulled out a murderous knife from her belt and started walking in the direction, Opal had pointed. Quick but quiet I started packing, ready to run, but nothing seemed to fit in the back-packs. Outside my little circle, Dya suddenly stopped with a puzzled expression, and then she very determinedly turned around.  
“What are you looking at?” she sneered at the others. “Let's get some of those apples. Now!”  
“But..” Eleva from 3 stared blankly at her. I used the extra time my Repello Mugletum-spell had given me to perform a hastily Undetectable Extension Charm on one of the back-packs and now I could easily fit even the unfolded tent and the other bag, seemingly the same size, into it.  
"Pick an apple!" Dya ordered one of the others, a boy I couldn't place anywhere right now, and he reluctantly turned and went to the tree. In the same second, the apple let go of the tree, it exploded in his hand and I was thrown backwards.  
The ground wouldn't stay steady beneath my feet, but I rose anyway, confirming my fears. The explosion had blown me out of my protected circle, and the careers, as dizzy as me, was starting to get hold of their ground and stared loathingly at me.  
"Well, well, well," Dya sayd, her mouth twitched in a snarl. "Look who dropped in." She started moving towards me, but a hand shot out and grasped her arm.  
"You don't know what she can do. Better kill her at good distance, I say." Veile from 2 eyed me suspiciously. "Do you have a good aim with those knives, Dya?"  
"It wouldn't help her." My voice was trembling slightly, but my hand was steady as I pulled out my wand, pointing it at them. My bag was still inside the circle.  
"You are pointing a stick at us? A stick?" Dya laughed heartedly.  
"Don't judge a book on its cover. Accio." Her knife flew elegantly away from her and landed in my hand. "Would you like to see what else it can do?" I felt like laughing as I saw her eyes widen in fear. Instead I measured the distance to my bag. "My aim has been envied by many," I said truthfully, turning my hand towards the apple tree. "Reducto." I immediately broke into a run. I'd already grabbed by bag when the branch I'd jinxed hit the ground, and the blow almost threw me off my feet but I held my ground and ran on.


	11. Penetrating the Past

I don't know why I kept running. My chest ached, I'd left my breath at the ground some way behind and no one was following me, but I couldn't stop feeling that is wasn't them I ran from. I made those apples explode in their faces. They were practically circling the tree, a death was inevitable. I'd killed. Again.  
A scream rose to the air, quickly followed by the great BOOM of the canon, and I froze. The one who had screamed couldn't be far away. My wand risen in front of me as a sword, I took eleven, slow steps and peered around the corner.  
On the ground lay a dead girl, thirteen years old, at most. Terror was painted in her face, and there were so much blood in her cloth that it was impossible to judge where her wound was. But that wasn't the part that made my eyes widen and my feet stumble back. It was the tear stricken boy, standing above her, pointing a tiny knife towards another boy with blood on his hands and his back towards me.  
“Are you going to kill me with that?” the boy, whom I assumed had killed the boy, said. His voice was shaking.  
“I wouldn't hesitate.” Though filled with hatred, hesitating was clearly what he was doing. But I certainly wasn't.  
One whip with my wand and the killer fell to the ground, stunned. I didn't lower it when I turned towards the other.  
“Why do you cry? She's one less obstacle between you and life,” I said, almost terrified by the cynical tone in my own voice.  
“Why haven't you killed me?” Quite a fair question, come to think of it. Why hadn't I?  
“I'm no part of this. You are.”  
“You claim to be different, yet you have just killed.”  
“He's not dead.”  
“Oh, really?”  
“This is pathetic. Answer my question,” I ordered him.  
“No.”  
“You asked for it, then. Legilimens.”  
Our minds collided immediately, making the boy jump backwards, terrified, but I had it under control. It was a strange sensation. I clearly saw the street in front of me, but on the same time the boy's past played like a Muggle movie inside my head.  
He's eight years old and surrounded by grain fields, a straw in his hand. “Dad,” he shouts. You were right. It's time for the reaping.” He isn't talking about the annual reaping of one boy and girl to the Hunger Games.  
The scene shifted.  
He is eleven, and a little girl is beaming at him. He has just given her a little, red button he found in the fields.  
The scene shifted again.  
It's the same girl looking up at him, only older, and now tears are running down her face. They sit on the bedside the body of a woman. He puts his arm protectively around her, and she sobs, his cloth getting drenched.  
The Justice Building of District 9 replaced the bedroom.  
“You killed her!” his dad shouts at the building, throwing rocks through the windows. “You could've given her medicine, you bastards!” The fifteen-year-old boy tries to pull his dad home, but it is too late. Two Peacekeepers come towards them.  
This time the place didn't shift, but years had past.  
It's reaping day, the little girl's first one. Though she's far away from him, he keeps looking at her, telling her with his eyes that everything is all right. But then her name is shouted, and shortly after so is his. Everybody would be believe it to be a cruel coincidence, but he knew better. He knew it was his father's fault, and he hated him for it, because everything he'd ever had was her, and now he'd lose her too..  
I pulled out and lowered my wand.  
“She's my sister,” he whispered, stroking her hair gently.


	12. An Alliance

His sister? I mean, sure, they were at the reaping together. Both their names were in there. But how's the chance for getting reaped to the same games? I didn't know what to do, but in the end I reproached him carefully. He didn't tell me to stay away, so I figured he thought I would've killed him by now if I wanted to. Or else he just didn't care anymore.   
“C'mon,” I told him gently, kneeling besides him. “You have done, what you can. Now let her go.” I shouldn't be helping him, he was my enemy, but letting him be killed by the next by-passer while clutching his dead sister to his chest seemed like letting go of myself.   
“Those pictures in my head. Did you see them too?” he asked mushy, his voice full of disbelieve and without removing himself from the dead body.  
“Yes. I did see them.”  
“I could have saved her.”  
“No. You didn't kill her, he did. Hate him. Now, come.” Finally, he released her, and I pulled him to his feet slowly. I was about to lead him away, when an idea stroke me.  
They would never believe anyone to hide within range of all this.   
“C'mon,” I repeated and walked straight into the nearest garden. He seemed paralysed with grief, so I made him sit down in the grass and dumped the back-pack too, making an awful lot of noise as everything bumped around in there.  
“Listen, if you dig down the bag, you should find a tent. I'll just make sure no one finds us, okay?” I didn't think he'd heard me, but when I turned my back on him, I could hear him open the bag's zipper.   
“Salvio Hexia,” I started, not quite sure how it would affect him. He was a Muggle, after all.  
“What are you doing?” he asked numbly.  
“Camp protection charms. You'll be happy later. Now be quiet a while, okay?” I finished them quickly, then returned to him sitting in the tend with his neck ducked. His eyes were red, but otherwise it seemed he had pushed his mourning away. It seemed cold, he had just lost his sister, but giving it second thought, it made sense. Fighting for you life is a full-time occupation. He crawled out of the tent.  
“I don't think we both can sleep in there,” he observed.   
“I can solve that,” I said, flipping my wand. “But I only have one sleeping bag.” Then he had his own bag lying in the grass, and he pulled out a sleeping bag identical to mine.   
“You know what? Maybe we won't even need those!” I smiled secretly, then started working on the tent. In a quarter of minutes, I had expanded the its insides, after a lot of concentration made a couple of soft, comfy beds appear and with those a dining table.   
“I really can't believe I didn't do this yesterday,” I muttered.  
“What is that thing?” he said in a curious, slightly scared voice, pointing at my wand.   
“13 inches Elm with a Phoenix feather core.” He looked so confused that I had to laugh, but I quickly stopped, remembering his sister. “A wand. It does magic. Now let's go inside, I'm sure dinner is served.” He opened his mouth to protest, but with a flicker of my wand, food floated out of my bag and served itself. “We can at least eat together,” I noted. 

While eating, we only opened our mouths to shovel in food. But at a point, the table was empty, and talking was necessary.   
“Weapons on the table?” I suggested.   
“I don't have any.”  
“Well, weapon on the table then.” I put it between us, and he stared at it blindly.  
“I don't understand,” he whispered. “You said it yourself. One less obstacle. Why did you help me, when you needn't do more than leave me, and I would've been dead?”  
“Let's talk about something else.”  
“About what?”  
“An alliance.” He removed is eyes from my wand and looked me in the eyes.  
“What if I don't trust you?”  
“I think you do.”  
“Ha!”  
“You've turned you back on me, while I was armed, more than once. I could've killed you easily in the street. I've shared my food with you. Human nature would tell you to trust me.”  
“And alliance, then?”  
“An alliance.” We looked each other in the eyes, and when I exhaled, something else went out, something that plummeted down towards the centre of the earth.   
I would have to find out what exactly that was late, but right now my body seemed lighter, and I even managed a smile.   
“So, now we're that far,” I announced. “What's your name?”


	13. Mischievous Cooperation

I heard him crying in his sleep. Not loudly, but heart-achingly quiet, like his grief was too big to be uttered, yet he couldn't hold it in. At one point, I felt like forcing my way through the arena, till I found his sister's body. I wanted to find his sister and force her to live, though I knew she could not, and though I knew they had taken her body away.   
Then I wanted to kill everyone on my path till I found her murderer and killed him properly. No more stunners.   
At last my eyes closed from exhaustion, and I heard no more that night. 

Somebody shook me, but I pushed the somebody away, groaning, and pulled the quilt up around my ears. Then the quilt disappeared.  
“Oi!” I sat up angrily. “What did you do that for?” He grinned at me.  
“Thought you'd like some breakfast,” he said while trying not to laugh too much.  
“Wake me at noon,” I muttered grumpily, but I got up anyway. “By Merlin's beard, I'm tired,” I yawned. “Did I ever get your name yesterday? It's slipped away.”  
“Yes, you did. It's Escal. And you're Jessica.”  
“Got that one right, did yah? Well, let's eat, I'm starving!” I started shoving in the food, he had put on the table, and he soon joined my, though I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes at me behind my back.   
“I checked both our bags,” he said while eating very slowly. “The food is running low.” At his words I hesitated at my next bite, but then continued undisturbed. A girl's gotta eat.   
“Any idea where we can get more?” I muffled through a full mouth.  
“Can't you just make some appear? Like the everything else in here?” I rolled my eyes.  
“It doesn't work that way. Food is one of the five exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration.”  
“Sorry?”  
“I can't make food appear.” He looked kind of disappointed. And I'd just given him a bed.  
“Well, I guess we could harvest some of those apple trees in the gardens.”  
“No apples!” He winced annoyed.  
“Why? The lady doesn't like them?”  
“Trust me. You don't want to get anywhere them.”  
“You are not very informative.”  
“Not my style.” He growled at me, and I sighed. “They explode, okay? I saw the careers trying to get some. At least two of them died.” Eyes wide he stared at me. “What?”  
“Don't you realise what that means?”  
“Does it mean anything?” I asked, confused.  
“Don't you see? If they are looking for food, it must mean someone else controls the cornucopia!” I could feel my eyes grow as wide as his.   
“They've probably been starving!” We beamed mischievously at each other, both of us knowing that it was a wild guess, neither of us caring. 

It didn't take long to conjure a plan and even shorter to get going. Since we didn't want to take over the cornucopia, just raid it, we didn't bring anything but what we needed to transport it back and left the magical protection on the camp.   
After expanding both rucksacks thoroughly, I rapped Escal on the head with my wand, camouflaging him, made him grab my arm and Disapparated.  
We reappeared just out of sight of the cornucopia, and I decided to look around the corner instead of on Escal, who were throwing up in the ditch.   
“Both from 11,” I said, confident that he could hear me. “The boy from 4, the boy from 8 and the girl from 10.” The puking-sounds stopped, and I glanced back. “Are you ready, or should I just get on with it?” He nodded, a knife (the one I'd gotten from the cornucopia) in his hand, and I Disapparated again, this time without him.   
A stood in the other end of the cornucopia in the city square in plain sight.   
“HEY!” I shouted, making all five tributes guarding the cornucopia jump armed to their feet. “YOU'VE TAKEN ALL THE FOOD YOURSELF? HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF MANNERS?” A couple of them started walking towards me, one with a spear and the other with a sword, neither seemed like they knew how to use their weapons. I could easily have cursed them at this distance, but I let them come closer, let them think they'd have a chance.   
The one with the spear decided to attack first, the word Tarantallegra slipped my mind and with a flick of my wand, his legs were dancing uncontrollably, making his whole body shake and the spear fall to the ground. The other one, the one with the sword, thought me distracted and sneaked up behind me to put the blade in my back. Flipendo, and he flew backwards, landing on his back.   
“Finite Incantatem,” I said, pointing at the spear-boy so his legs stopped jumping aimlessly around. The plan wouldn't work if he couldn't run. “Is that all you've got?” A silent whush made me throw myself to the side, a brick shortly after penetrating the air where my head had been. A fiery looking girl stood in the other side of the square by a pile of stone, and I grinned. My classmates had always hated my “show-off attitude”. This was no different, as I instead of just making a shield, I hit every singe of the rocks she threw with a spell, blowing them to little pieces while walking backwards past the sword-guy and into a street, still in their view.   
Another boy left the cornucopia, and suddenly three boys and a girl was walking towards me. I love this plan, I thought as I turned to sprint.


	14. A Trap and an Unforgivable Curse

The good news: they were pretty keen on catching me. The bad news: if I didn't get there soon, they would.  
Run. Breath. Jinx. Run.  
I'd seen that road when I ran from the cornucopia the first time, but right now it seemed to be gone. Could they rearrange the streets? No, we'd have noticed that, they'd need to do it with technology which, I'd noticed, made much more noise than magic. Breath. Run. Steps behind me. I turned around a corner and …  
Dead end.  
Finally.  
I ran to the end of it, pretending to try to climb the wall, then turned to greet my followers.  
“Not so fearsome now, are you?” said the girl, a brick in her hand clearly aimed at me.  
“Well.” I turned on the spot and Apparated to a spot some yards behind them. “I'm good. CONFRINGO MAXIMA!” I yelled, and the whole street in front of me exploded in flames, creating a steaming hot wall. I heard all four them swear repeatedly behind it, no kills I concluded with a grin, and turned around to rejoin Escal in the city square, confident that they'd be stuck in there for a little while.  
“LET GO!” someone shrieked ahead, followed by a cry of pain I immediately identified as Escal's. I ran faster and soon emerged from the streets to the sight of Escal on the ground and a girl about to stab him with a dagger. I couldn't get myself to do anything that would kill her, so instead I acted instinctively and yelled “Imperio”, my wand pointed at her.  
Her eyes went blank before she laid down the knife, took the rucksacks and started filling them with food. I hurried to Escal's side. Blood was quickly spreading on his shirt and the ground beneath him.  
“Where?” My voice trembled.  
“I don't think you can do anything,” he whispered.  
“You don't know that, do you? Now, where?!”  
“My left side.” I tried to rip of his shirt, but it refused. Diffindo, I thought, and it slid off easily. The girl had cut deep, and the wound almost made me vomit, but I pulled myself together.  
“Vulnera Sanentur,” I chanted quietly. “Vulnera Sanentur.” The wound closed itself completely, and Escal touched himself, surprised.  
“Ouch,” he whispered.  
“Well, the spell isn't that good. Now, c'mon.” I helped him get up. He staggered a bit, but besides being pale from the blood-loss, he seemed okay.  
“I couldn't fit more food in them, miss,” the girl said, giving us the rucksacks.  
“Thanks. Er. Just, sit down.” She obeyed so fast, that she almost fell to the ground and winced in pain. “Now, look me in the eyes. Obliviate.” Her eyes went foggy, then she just sat staring into nothing.  
“We should get back. Do you think you can Apparate?”  
“Say what?”  
“You know, the transport-thing we did earlier.”  
“Oh, yeah, I guess.” He took my arm, and soon we were back in the tent.  
My entire body shook so I had to sit down. I'd used an unforgivable curse. If anyone ever found out … And after that, I'd modified someone's memory. No, not just modified, I'd deliberately erased everything. She wouldn't even be able to talk, now. And what did that make me? Was it really better than if I'd just killed her?  
I ran outside to throw up.


	15. Unanticipated Circumstances

Escal found some mint leaves in a neighbouring kitchen garden, and after I'd boiled some water with magic, we got some quite drinkable tea. He insisted upon serving it, saying that since I did everything else it was only fair. I could have done it instantly, but this slow Muggle way of doing it was kind of nice, like the anticipation build up inside instead of just “well, I think I want tea” and BING, there's steaming hot tea on a silver plate.  
“You seem a bit upset,” he noticed while putting a mug in front of me.  
“Do I?” My voice sounded distant and, regrettably, trembled.  
“I have eyes, you know.”  
“I guess.”  
“What did you do to that girl at the cornucopia?”  
“I used an unforgivable curse on her.” Just saying it made me want to throw up again. What did I think, that it was okay, just because The Ministry for Magic didn't have any jurisdiction here?  
“A what?” I swallowed a big breath.  
“There are three unforgivable curses. There is the Cruciatus Curse, which makes the victim suffer indescribable pain, the Avada Kedavra Curse, which kills you instantly and then the Imperius Curse, that makes you do whatever the magician wishes you to do. Each one gives you a lifetime in prison where I am from. Each one has been used to evil in the past. And I've used one of them.”  
“Everyone kills in here,” he whispered. “Forget those rules.”  
“But it's not just that.” Tears journeyed down my cheeks. “I erased everything. I took away her memories like you turn a cup upside down.” I turned my mug so the tea splashed out on the floor. “There's nothing left.” I showed him the inside of my mug, made him look at it, as if he could ease my mind if he did so. He shoved a finger down and followed the insides of the cup, then holding up his finger to show a drop of tea on it.  
“It's hard to empty something completely.” I stared at him. “Jessica, you try not to kill, though killing would be an obvious choice. You did what was necessary to avoid murder. You impress me.” I stared even more.  
“You don't understand!”  
“I understand what needs understanding,” said he, and suddenly our noses were less than an inch from each other. I didn't know who had moved, but it didn't really matter. Our lips met, not gently but passionately, we pushed the table between us away, ignored the mugs shattering. We stood so close that we could possible get, but it wasn't enough, not in here. Without loosening our grip the slightest, we stumbled to a bed, I didn't even care which one of them, and started ripping of each others' cloth. I only slowed down to be sure to put my wand where it wouldn't be broken, but otherwise we sensed nothing but the other. 

I remember discussing the sexual début of one of my friends. We sat by the lake at Hogwarts, while she, whispering and blushing, accounted for the slow act of passion, that it was mild and soft and warm.  
This was nothing like that, I thought as I lay panting beside Escal, panting but happy to my toes. We gazed into each others eyes, and I remembered everything I'd seen there, when I'd met him over his sister's corpse.  
“This complicates things a bit,” I murmured, nudging his nose gently with mine.  
“Yeah.” I kissed him, not quite as rash this time. We were silent a bit.  
“Though, I don't know anything about you. And what I know is a lie.” I pulled back a little (a very little) and looked him in the eyes, seriously.  
“I haven't lied to you.”  
“No, but you're a tribute from 7. Are you from District 7?” I shook my head and shoved my head in to his chest.  
“I'm from St. Ives,” I said and laughed of his confused look. “It's in England, and I think it's in the past, too.” And lying there, beneath the sheets, I whispered him everything about myself and the wizarding world and Hogwarts and my Dad. And when I was done telling everything, we made love again, and this time I recognised more of the words of my friend.


	16. Threats and Promises

I woke up in Escal's arm, really hot, urging to pee, but I didn't want to move, especially because he slept so calmly. I wanted to keep staring at him, but my bladder was very insistent, so I climbed gently and slowly over him and tip-toed across the floor.   
When I came back, he lay looking at me with kind eyes, but I could feel something troubled him.  
“We need to talk,” said he. Instantly, I knew what he wanted to talk about.  
“Not yet. Please,” I begged. I closed his objecting mouth with a kiss. “Just, let me have this moment. We'll talk, I promise.” So he waited, and I waited, and we both stopped waiting at the same time, holding each other tight.   
“This complicates things,” he said. Said as a simple, unchangeable but somehow uninteresting or even boring fact. And I knew why. Sometimes you needed to distance yourself from stuff, or you'd break down. This was stuff.  
“I know.”  
“What do we do?”  
“Isn't it obvious?” My voice was empty, resigned.  
“No, it isn't obvious.”  
“One of us must be sacrificed.” He caught my eyes, trying to remove the grave sincerity in my eyes.   
“I had rather hoped you had another idea,” he whispered. His distancing was failing.   
“Like what? Like maybe the Tooth Fairy will come to safe us?”  
“I would do it for you, y'know.”   
“Make the Tooth Fairy safe us?”  
“No. Die.” I wasn't surprised by his worse, but I hesitated answering anyway. I had to say this right. Had to make him understand that I wasn't going to let him.  
“Escal, I don't want you to interrupt me, so just let me finish before you say anything, kay?” He nodded and I continued. “You are not going to die, Escal. I forbid it. If it turns out to be necessary, I will hex you and kill the others while you're hidden in here. But since it would probably be easier with you around, I will give you a choice. Let me die, or have me die anyway. What do you choose?” He rolled over so he was lying on top of me and stared me down, but I didn't flinch.  
“No,” he snarled angrily, took a deep breath and continued: “You wouldn't leave me defenceless anywhere. You're bluffing.” He had a point. I had really hoped that I wouldn't need to do this. But I wasn't going to bend.  
“You saw what I did to that girl yesterday.” My voice was barely a whisper.  
“You wouldn't.” He didn't sound so sure this time, though.  
“Yes, and I'd do more.” I had him now, I knew I did, and I hated myself for it. I remembered the happiness in every corner of my mind, working so hard to cover up the nagging, the little, tiny undermined thought that tried, and failed, to tell me, I was trapped. I felt like I was going to get sick again, but I suppressed it and kept my voice calm. “I could make you kill me. And if that's what your survival would need, then I would do it. So don't make it necessary.” The blood had left his face completely, leaving his face so white that I would think him dead if his breathing wasn't blowing into my ear.   
He was speechless.  
I had won.   
“You'll live,” I promised threateningly.


	17. Abduction

The romance-thing got quite a bit colder after our conversation (basically because of my threat). Of course, it was necessary. We had work to do. And I had to figure out how to do my suicide which, despite my brave words, was freaking me out. I was seventeen. I didn't want to die. I was afraid, and I wanted Escal to calm me, but it felt like pointing out a weakness to him, a weakness that should be hidden, so I stayed silent.  
Still, I didn't know you could miss the warmth of someone's eyes so much, and it hurt, though I hadn't even known him for a week.  
Nothing happened for a couple of days. The canon had sounded thrice that we had heard, but not really wanting to check, we didn't know who had died.  
“The Capitol must be getting bored,” said Escal casually. Like it wasn't important. “I'm getting some more mint leaves.”  
“Take care.” My voice sounded mechanical.  
Looking back, I can see I shouldn't have let him leave the tent. But how could I know?  
I didn't even have time to get worried. He had barely left, when an infernal BANG made me fall backwards off my chair and jump up instantly.  
I ran out without second thought, yelling his name, but he was gone. Taken.  
It hadn't been the canon. It had been the sound of someone apparating. 

I was perfectly certain that it was someone apparating. It had been the sound of apparating. But how? It was impossible. Or was it? Why shouldn't there be wizards and witches in the hidden here, like everywhere else? It was possible, but not comfortable. Wouldn't they have done something? Had they just watched while North America turned into Panem? Watched and done nothing? Had they even participated?  
I did know where to find him, or at least I had a clue, at the Cornucopia. But it was my only idea, and didn't want to wast any time.  
I apparated to the same place as I did with Escal when we were robbing for food. Walking slowly, I went towards the city square and the single girl standing in the middle of it, smirking.  
Closer I could see that it was Eleva from 3. My fingers closed harder around my wand.  
“Where is he?!” I hissed.  
“Give me the stick, and I'll tell you.”  
“Where is he?!”  
“The stick.”  
“WHERE IS HE?!” She just stretched out her hand, demanding.  
“Legilimens.” Nothing happened. “Legilimens.” Again nothing. It was like she had some kind of shield surrounding her mind, denying me access. There was definitely a sorcerer here. She laughed loudly. She shouldn't have.  
“Crucio.” Her screams pierced the air, and it was agonising to watch her writhing in pain in the dirt, but I didn't as much as flinch until I cut the spell.  
“WHERE IS HE?!” She shook her head, and I shouted the Cruciatus Curse again and again till she told me, and then I continued till she told me about the wizard, who hadn't been in the arena from the start but had turned up three days ago, offering his help, about how he had made the plan to kidnap Escal and make me turn in my wand before they killed us both, and how many they were. Herself, Opal, Dya and Veile. Everyone else was dead.  
And when I knew everything she could tell, I didn't even let her take a full breath before muttering the killing curse. The world lit up green a split second and then she was dead.  
You're not a killer, the boy from 3 had said. Had he seen me now, he would have turned away from me to run.


	18. The Sorcerer

I didn't dare apparate to the place, the dead girl behind me had described. Firstly, I'd never been there, so actually getting there would be a bit of a miracle. Secondly, I didn't know how this wizard protected the place. I couldn't possibly know what would happen, if I succeeded apparating to the right place. Nothing good, I imagined.  
The dead girl behind me... Some part of me screamed that something was missing. Sorrow, regret, chock. I should feel like I'd lost something. I had lost something. You're a murderer, Jess. But I was far beyond regret, far beyond anything that wouldn't help Escal. I'd promised he'd survive. He was going to survive.

I still wasn't much of a runner, but I didn't have to stop any more. The sticking pain in my lounges and my legs didn't bother me now. How could it?

I had to slow down and catch my breath a while before I was there. They'd be able to hear me coming sounding like this, and I didn't want to run straight into their arms.  
When I was as silent as I could get, I started nearing the place. I passed a house that looked like someone blew up the top step and the door, as Eleva said I would. She hadn't told me about the blood on the staircase. I'd been right about the houses on the first day.  
I started to hear voices. But.. Didn't I know that voice? No, it couldn't possibly. I edged closer and peeked around the corner of a house and...

Froze.

No.

Not him.

Anyone but him. 

I gulped. Fear pierced my body like spears, aiming for my heart, but I pushed them away. Yes, he was there, but so was Escal. Escal hanging in mid air from his ankles, his eyes defiantly staring down him.  
“Connor!” I called out and walked into clear view. It was a big street, probably meant to look like some sort of main road.  
So much for not running straight into their arm.  
“Hey, Jess.” His voice made me want to throw up. “Care to join the party?” He didn't seem to surprised about the fact that I still had my wand, but they would of course have heard the canon. They knew.  
“Actually, I was just leaving, sweetie.” Sarcasm. Good. Doesn't sound too scared.  
“What did you do to Eleva?” Opal growled. She didn't look upset, just angry.  
“You want to know?” Oh, the irony. “Avada Kedavra.” She fell dead, and Dya and Veile froze as the canon confirmed it. Connor just smirked. He could have used the moment I killed her to attack me, but honestly he looked glad that I'd gotten rid of her. She'd probably annoyed him.  
“Haven't you heard, Jess? That curse is unforgivable. They'll throw you in Azkaban for that.”  
“Nice to know I'll have company then.” My voice was cold as ice. “Let him go, Conner.”  
“Or what?” he hissed. “Or you'll leave me again? Didn't work so well last time, did it?”  
“I'll fight for him.”  
“NO!” he shouted. “You're mine! You hear me?! MINE!” Before he had finished speaking, I made the ground beneath him explode in a shower of bricks and dust and ran for Escal. Veile tried to cut me off, but I killed him, reached for Escal's hand, and disapparated.


	19. Confessions of a Witch

We had barely arrived at the tent, when we heard that bang of another canon.  
“Dya,” whispered Escal.  
“We have till tomorrow,” I answered. Until he'd come and tear my shields apart.  
“We better get talking, then.” Still holding on to my hand, he let me to the bed, where we sat beside each other, so close that our shoulders touched.  
“I think you owe me an explanation.”  
“I do,” I answered. He waited a bit, and waited more. I needed to tell this right. But sometimes, there is no right. Sometimes, you just have to spit it out.  
“Connor was a year above me at Hogwarts. We didn't really communicate until my fifth year, when he first noticed me. I was flattered, I guess, but not really interested, and when flirting got boring, I, er, dumped him.  
“He was furious. He committed the next months to making my life miserable, and he was succeeding pretty well, when he suddenly just stopped. I thought I'd got rid of him and was just starting to relax, when he caught me alone in a hallway in the Christmas holiday. I said a lot of horrible things to him, but nothing can defend his actions.  
“He used the Imperius Curse on me, the one I used on the girl in the Cornucopia. I was under his control in a year and a half, right until he graduated. He had intended to keep me, but I'd started fighting by then.” I closed my eyes. “It's not even a bad feeling, that curse. I've never been so happy in my entire life as I was those eighteen months, and it terrifies me.” Escal took my hand and rubbed it gently with his thumb.  
“But I'd rather die than get back to that.” My voice was grave as I realised that was exactly what I was going to do. Die.  
“Give me tonight,” Escal whsiper. “Tonight is mine, tomorrow is the end.” Gently I started taking his shirt off him. 

We didn't rush this time

We had all night.

We only had tonight.

It's incredible how much you can say with your body when words do not suffice.  
And not a word could we say that would satisfy us, not a moment would we waste talking, when our moments were numbered.  
We touched each other everywhere, memorised each others bodies.  
This, my last night with Escal, would haunt me the rest of my life.


	20. Two Wands and a Knife

“Jessica, I think we have to leave.” I nodded but hugged him tighter.  
“I know, but I don't want to.”  
“Neither do I, but we've had our time, right? We knew it couldn't last.” Even so, I could see that every word ached in his mouth.  
“I know, but... I hoped, Escal. It was stupid.”  
“No. I hoped too.”  
“Come.” We rose and dressed, never taking our eyes off each other. “Let's walk,” I said, and he agreed. There was no reason to shorten anything by apparating. 

It took about an hour before we walked, hand in hand, into the Cornucopia square. As expected, he was waiting there, scowling at our hands. I squeezed Escal's hand gently and let go of him, walking forward with my wand ready.  
“I don't understand what you see in that Muggle,” Connor spat.  
“Then you're blind.”  
“I'm blind?! You rejected me!” He sent a half-hearted Stunning Spell in my direction, which I reflected with a Shield Charm.  
“Grow some balls, Connor. Yes, I rejected you. Get over it already! It's three years ago!” I hissed angrily, and he charged without warning.  
Rocks flew off the ground and towards me. Quickly I transfigured them into a cloud of sand in which I tried to suffocate him, but before that happened, the sand became giant, growling, red-eyed dogs which became gigantic lions which he made vaporise. Our wands became blurry in the air as we moved faster and faster, hexing and cursing, charming and transfiguring in a speed I'd never thought possible. I used every single spell I could think of, and so did he, but neither of us could outdo the other. He could counter my every move.  
I was at my wits' end, and I couldn't keep up the pace I was in. I desperately needed to think. A break to think. I needed time. Time.. Time!  
Maybe I shouldn't try to defeat, maybe my goal was to slow him down. For now at least.  
We'd been using one complicated spell after another on each other trying to outsmart the other, so perhaps something simple.  
Tricking.  
I smirked as I made a rock explode besides him to cover for the jelly-legs curse I threw at him. He fell to the ground as his legs began wobbling.  
The next split of a second lasted an eternity. His wand flew out of his hand, and he looked me straight in the eyes, terrorfied as he knew it was over for him. I saw him whisper something before the killing curse hit him. A pleade. Jessica. 

”Jessica.” I turned around and froze. ”One of us always had to die, right?” I forgot Connor's body behind me, I forgot that my every move was being watched, I even forgot my own name as I ran to Escal on the ground with the dagger in his stomach. I stumbled and fell a couple of feet from him and crawled to his side.  
”What have you done?” I whispered.  
”I saved you, Jess. This time, I saved you,” he said, coughing up blood.  
”No, we'll find a way, you can't die, please, please, please don't die.” But it was too late. I couldn't do anything.  
He wrapped his fingers around my neck and pulled my lips down to his, and I kissed his bloody mouth till he stopped breathing, and then I started crying hysterically, clutching his body, screaming his name.

 

*

They had to remove Escal's body from my arms with force. I think I screamed a lot. And fought. I don't really remember. I can't even recall them taking my wand away, but they must have. Or it's still in there, in the arena. Guess I don't really care much anymore.  
It's been eleven years since I won the games, and I know now what I knew the moment Escal put that knife in himself to safe me. I can never go home. Even if I still had my wand, even if I somehow had the courage to try harder, I was too different. Home wouldn't be able to accept what is left of me. It's better that I stay here, in District 7, where they at least leave me be with whatever it takes to make me sleep at night.  
I haven't used magic since then.  
I haven't even tried.


End file.
